Dr. Balls Underground Music Review

Dr. Balls random nugget of knowledge: more


Some people say that getting blowjobs for a living is pretty much the best way to live your life! I believe them! Nothing thinks louder than these nicaraguan facefuckers who get all up in my joint about owing money to some weirdo named Nuñuez or something and I'm like whatever dude, I have been secluded in the secret sanctuary of my esteemed estate The Dr. Balls's Fortress Of Lucidity without any pants for 74 straight days watching porno and eating pizza so I'm just about ready to rock some fat latino dude's ass into the ground next to all of his stupid dead relatives whom I will then dig up and bury you all together in a mass grave and laugh at you!

Who is killing the indie label? God is!
I had a dream last night which pretty much metaphorically depicted current events with music and it was a figurative yet physical indie label symbolized by a stubby hairy penis, and in came God with his big fists holding lightning bolts and struck death to the indie label penis! All of the personified mountains and clouds got all freaked out but I was like, thank you dude! Why have an elitist non-mainstream sect of the music industry when you can just have a bigger mainstream! But then again not everyone has had distinguished experience in the field of knowing every single fucking thing like this guy right here, Dr. Testicules P. Balls II. It graves me such great pleasure in the honor of your actualness!

I mean we all know that logic is the opposite of the rules that govern our physical universe nigga!

Surfs up, asshole!
Most of you don't have to read this diatribe that yours truly is about to unwind because there is just one human, I mean man, out there whose mental capacity contains the previously recorded information about certain events because they were involved in them! You were always on the short end of a long stick, and I have since transformed that stick into a surfboard and smacked you upside the back with it! And nonetheless I said "surf's up asshole" and he was forced to eat his own shame because I packed it real tight so he could get his pretty little mouth around it while his children were forced to watch in vomitous shame!

Angels and Airwaves
Now I'm just going to throw this out there, and you can take it for what you consider it to be worth and stuff, but I'm going to make a prediction that Angels and Airwaves is going to be left grounded at the airport of stagnation, a.k.a. something is going to seriously derail Tom Delonge's dream project of trying to change the world with a song, baby! Like maybe the album won't get released, or it will take another year or there will be some drama what will mar its existence and shit! Natural shit, my love! Make it work or make it go away, with haste and shit!

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